SOME OF THE OUTRAGEOUS THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO A PHARMACIST
          By Tina Harrach Denetclaw, Pharm.D. BCPS
          © Copyright 1996 T. H. Denetclaw


          (A blank stare is an effective answer for most of these things.)

          "I just bought something on the street that is supposed to be Valium, but I don't trust the guy I got it from. Could you look at it and tell me if it's really Valium?"

          "My husband recently got over the flu bug and now he has a stiff neck and a fever. He doesn't seem to be okay, but he won't go to the doctor. Is there something you can give him for it?" (Hint: A blank stare is not the right answer for this one.)

          "I've been to six doctors and none of them can tell me what's causing the rash on my arm. What do you think it is?"

          "I have a variety of antibiotics left over in my medicine cabinet. I think that I have a sinus infection. Which drugs would be good for that?" (In the first place, she's not supposed to have antibiotics left over. In the second place...see the next example.)

          "I'm not asking you to diagnose me. I just want you to tell me what this is and what I can take for it."

          Upon telling a customer that her new antibiotic prescription may decrease the effectiveness of her birth control pills, she responded incredulously: "Oh sure,...like what could happen."

          "My mother is sick. I have a large board to lay her on to do an examination myself. I think it's her kidneys. What should I look for?"

          "If getting a prescription filled for 30 tablets is going to take 20 minutes, how long will it be if I only want 10 tablets?" (35 minutes.)

          "My prescription is very simple to make. I should not have to wait for the people ahead of me to get theirs done first."

          "My prescription is a tube of ointment. Why can't you just take it off the shelf and hand it to me?"

          "My doctor said that he would phone a prescription here for me. It's not my fault that he didn't. I know exactly what he wants to order for me. Why can't you just give me what I know my doctor wants me to have?"

          Three final thoughts:

          Lunch can be absorbed transdermally by applying it to an inconspicuous spot of one's arm while working.

          Everything only happens all at once.

          Most everything can seem humorous...eventually.



          ...AND A FEW JOKES FOR THE ROAD!

          A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"


          A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

          "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

          Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist!"


          An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice. After that, I sleep better!"


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