ED Rules and Etiquette

            • Do not come to the ED with a problem you have had for more than one week.
            • If your doctor is in his office you should be too.
            • Don't send your children to the ED with a third cousin of your mother's ex-husband, then leave town to go shopping.
            • If you got your would-be patient into the family car to get to the hospital, then you can get that would-be patient out of the car and in the door.
            • Don't ask, "How long is this going to take?" until you have waited at least one hour.
            • Don't look behind curtains at other patients. Even if it is someone you know, you might not recognize the most prominently displayed body part.
            • When the nurse is listening to your lungs anteriorly and asks you to take a deep breath, don't blow it out into her face.
            • Don't add penicillin to your list of allergies immediately after the nurse gives you a shot of Bicillin LA.
            • If you must vomit, aim away from the bed rails the nurse just finished cleaning.
            • Don't make the nurse look like an idiot by telling the doctor a completely different history.
            • If you're going to sign out AMA, do so early, before the nurse invests a lot of time in you.
            • Share your displeasure with the doctor, as well as the nurse.




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